Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
