I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
