FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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