what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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