Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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