If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
