we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
