Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You can't motorboat a personality
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize