Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
