I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize