it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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