You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yo dont text me then not text me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
