sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
