can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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