so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
