I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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