He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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