Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
