Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
