He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
