You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize