the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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