how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
