Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
