dude i'm inner monologue high
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
