It's Friday. Sex?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The ass gains better be worth it
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