Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
