Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
