Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
