My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
