She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
