Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
