we're blogging at a bar
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
