Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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