no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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