Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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