You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
