How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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