Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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