I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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