Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
