Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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