Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
