Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
