I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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