We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
