Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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