her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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