I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
