Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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