The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize