i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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