You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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