Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i need an iv and a liver transplant
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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