shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
