He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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