I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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