i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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