I got chris browned last night
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
