porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
