You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
you never un-have a 4some
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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