come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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